Adaptation

A conversation held with a friend. Friday 4th October 2013. A café in town. Humidity, rain and heat.

She has been here less time than myself. She has completed the first phase of this life lived abroad. A summer break back home and now she is here again, with a renewed energy.
We spoke of what she has learnt about herself so far, and of the complex nature of social interactions and new friendships conducted in a new place.

It begins with an overload of enthusiasm and urge to meet as many people as possible: a flurry of pro active behaviour. Some early relationships don´t last. Some prove to frustrate more than anything: we come together through shared hobbies or perhaps the same sense of humour begins to gel us to one another. However, a differing of character and most importantly culture induced morals and values, leaves us gasping for air after some unpleasant or dissatisfying interactions.
This city tends to attract a certain type of lost person who doesn´t have the emotional stability to maintain long term relationships: ironically it´s a lack of adaptation skills that they don´t possess. Why do they come here? To find something presumably. These types don´t last long however. They implode and become overwhelmed by negativity towards to city, always avoiding self confrontation and instead blaming others for their situation. Leaving behind those of us who chose to continue adapting and advancing.
We are therefore forced to learn from our short term choices, and how to retain a part of ourselves only for us.

Then comes the second phase of our lives abroad; some friendships and contacts have been lost but better ones are on their way. We start to spend more time listening to our inner voices and trusting those all important instincts. We don´t need to suffer anyone or anything to avoid potential loneliness. Time alone starts to prove more of an attractive and acceptable option. With family far away and a new ferocious independence, we should only really rely on ourselves fundamentally. A sense of calm, of being able to cope in any situation, an intimate relationship with ourselves.

My friend continues to tell me excitedly about her future plans and where she feels she is right now in life. Her face lights up with expectation as the storm clears overhead. The air is so hot. We move outside. We say our goodbyes and I have every faith that what she is searching for is about to be obtained. Her positivity is her strongest tool. If you maintain this then the city will not let you down or reject you; quite the contrary.